Holding out for a hero

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Some stories write themselves.

There I was, struggling with a fresh bout of emotional roller-coasters (bumper cars in my case, as I do not have a talent for heights, and the net effect is the same, thrills for all the wrong reasons) and truly struggling to find a fresh breath of inspiration. An optimistic glance would have done, but even those are scarce in today’s world…

In life there are a few universal truths:

  • The pursuit of happiness
  • Impermanence (Just a very ‘expensive’ word for “Change is inevitable”
  • Cause and effect
  • Time and space
  • Interconnectedness
  • Some additional philosophical truths of your choice
  • And MUSIC

For a moment I was almost tempted to give a limitation to the sheer magnitude of music’s abilities, and that would have ended this story right there and then, due to the nature of the crime I would be committing.

Oh sweet-sweet, bitter, nostalgic, bang my head against the wall, emotional guidance giver, Music. The gift of the muses, or Odin, or mother nature herself, depending on which continent you grew up on and what the mainstream mythology would be. Either way. Music! Wow, what a phenomena you have been, and remain to be. For obvious reasons, (If you know, you know) some of you might have already noticed one of the most inspirational people in my life is Jim Morrison, the lead singer of the Doors, and very specifically a poem of his, “The Movie”. So, it goes without saying that I have fond memories of my longstanding, friendship, that is an understatement, rather, addiction to music.

When that despondent feeling came over me, you know, the bumper cars edition, guess who was there to give me inspiration. Right as I needed that glance of inspiration, the old Sugarman (Popular music streaming service), for a blue coin (Real money, monthly, that’s commitment to your addiction), brought back colours (a song inspiration for todays men) to my dreams.

Holding out for a hero.

What is it with woman and bad-boys? In my opinion, a hero does not exist without some bad-boy attitude. Ever heard of the great very compliant, mediocre, follower General Statisticus? That’s because statistically he can’t exist. You see, by its very nature, a hero would have to have a rebellious nature with, a sense of adventure and thrill seeking, with oozing confidence, assertiveness and calmness, when all others fall apart. Bad-boy attributes. The good kind. Not those nasty toxic ones we read about all over… And definitely not what this piece is about.

Where have all the good men gone
And where are all the gods?
Where’s the streetwise Hercules
To fight the rising odds?

Where indeed. Maybe I’m wrong, maybe this is a scenario of the Mike and the Mechanics lyrics: Every generation, Blames the one before…and when we get to blame, well, then we don’t have to accept blame. Right? And when we don’t have to accept blame, we don’t have to change anything, because it isn’t our fault. Right? And if we don’t have to do anything, things will certainly go worse, but that still isn’t my fault. Right?

Late at night, I toss and I turn
And I dream of what I need

I need a hero

Some of the hardest things we as men get to learn, and early on in life, is that there is no help for you. As a man child, we are quickly indoctrinated into cowboys don’t cry, real men don’t ask for directions, and everything is fixable by brute force. We get thrown into an abys of emotionless, toughness, normally reserved for the army, and stripped from the simple human dignity of emotions. We are expected to achieve, and in an ever increasingly hostile environment against men, the odds of this happening is ever decreasing. We have become lost. We blame everyone and their neighbour’s dog. We have fallen.

He’s gotta be strong, and he’s gotta be fast
And he’s gotta be fresh from the fight

I need a hero

I firmly believe in the power of music, and as a man, I firmly believe in the power of men. Manly men. Heroic men. I have therefor set myself a goal to always strive to give men an example to how to be better than yesterday. I want to give toolsets that can achieve this goal seamlessly. A gift for men to gift men. A gift so impossible to avoid, it should be as simple as….Music?

Ah the interconnectedness of it all, isn’t it so obvious sometimes…Anyway, back to the music. Throughout history, music has served numerous purposes, including cultural expression, storytelling, entertainment, communication, emotional expression, and artistic creativity. It has evolved and diversified across cultures, influenced by social, political, religious, and technological developments. (And maybe, become a coaching tool?) Today, music continues to be a universal language that transcends borders and connects people on a deep emotional level.

I’m holding out for a hero ’til the morning light
He’s gotta be sure, and it’s gotta be soon
And he’s gotta be larger than life

A Hero, according to Bonnie Tyler, needs to be fast, strong, sure, and fresh from the fight. (I will assume fighting in protection of his loved ones and what he stands for ) And he’s got to be LARGER THAN LIFE. These seem good, and truly bad-boy. When you google typical hero traits, it also gives us this definition:

  1. Courage: Heroes often display extraordinary bravery and face danger or adversity with unwavering resolve.
  2. Selflessness: Heroes prioritize the well-being and needs of others above their own self-interests, demonstrating acts of altruism and sacrifice.
  3. Integrity: Heroes uphold strong moral principles and ethical values, acting with honesty, fairness, and honour.
  4. Compassion: Heroes show empathy, kindness, and a genuine concern for the welfare of others. They often go out of their way to help those in need.
  5. Inspiring Others: Heroes can inspire and motivate others through their actions, inspiring positive change and making a lasting impact.

Man! I am tired of this world of half attempts and blame shifting. So tired in fact, that I decided to stop the blame shifting heritage and make more than half an attempt into giving us choices. Simply by being a family man. A dad, my son aspires to be, and my daughter can model her future choice of partner on. A partner that not only brings home some bacon, but he can also cook it pretty darn well, and always ensure his people had their fill. A man of principle, care, emotional intelligence, and leadership. A man who earns his partners respect, and in return protects, encourages, and grows with their relationship and goals. And I decided I want to showcase those skillsets to others. Through writing. Through example. Through word of mouth, and a striving to find the good men again. To give our only lasting little bit of difference we could potentially achieve. A legacy of desired masculinity. For those of you who have read this far, allow me to share a few thoughts which has given me a chance to grow into a better, healthy, family and goal orientated man.

  • Understand, and respect your values.
  • Learn to interpret your emotions.
  • Learn the power of the law of attraction.
  • Communicate, communicate communicate!
  • Set goals, and actively pursue them.
  • Take accountability and responsibility.
  • Respect. Earn it, give it, teach it.
  • Love yourself. This one should not be underestimated, as self esteem is the number one driver for a happier life.
  • Surround yourself with supportive people.
  • Be Better than yesterday.

Ah yes, the hero. From the everyday man going to work to care for his family, right through to Herculean heroes. Us men have a role to play. We have a duty to our loved ones, our family, friends and most importantly, ourselves. We need to find the heroes within. A bad-boy with all the exterior markings of the individual, the rebel, the leader of the pack mentality, who fights for a cause of the heart.

Let us build men of means and influence, loved by women, revered by men, which moves gallantly through the challenges of life with encouraged pride. Let’s make them truly, LARGER THAN LIFE!

Comment down bellow if you found some inspiration, or if you want me to give you call, and see whether you are ready for a coaching session. Please reach out, the first session is free, so what do you have to lose?

Until next time… Amor Fati

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