LizzardKing

In the midst of this chaotic whirlwind we call life, I find myself compelled to break the silence I’ve held for far too long. I embarked on a path of introspection, which in reality amounted to being utterly stunned by the nature of the challenges I’ve faced. Discovering the beast within and feeling powerless to tame it is an overwhelming experience, to say the least.

Through growth, learning, and exposure, I’ve reached a singular conclusion: People are strange.

“But we knew that already,” you might say. It’s nothing groundbreaking, just the same old song and dance. Perhaps you’re right. Maybe this is the end of the road. Trying to find evidence to the contrary feels futile; each attempt only reinforces the sense of hopelessness. But why not? What have I got to lose? No one here gets out alive, and I’m far from checking out. So, here we go again—attempt number infinity, aaaand ACTION!

Let’s do a quick rundown of recent events, presented in no particular order:

• Family communication breakdowns
• Heartbreaking family and pet losses
• Struggles within company leadership
• Tensions within my relationship
• Children seeking attention in tumultuous ways
• Navigating exams and holidays
• Experiencing team growth amid overwhelming stress
• The ever-present threat of burnout

Yes, it’s been quite the rollercoaster. A relentless assault on my mental, emotional, and at times, physical fortitude. In moments of anguish, my screams seemed to echo back as silent reverberations within. Unexpectedly, strangers emerged as my solace (thank you, Werner, for your kind words).

When those closest to me look back calmly and objectively, I find some respite. But I’m promptly thrown back into the same cycle of survivalist instincts and wretched behaviors, often self-serving in nature.

I took a hard look in the mirror and came to the sobering realization that I played a significant role in all of the chaos—a realization reached only after intense introspection. But it’s probably not for the reasons you might suspect.

Deep down, after countless unanswered questions and relentless analysis, I found an answer that cut through the noise: the reason for my internal struggle wasn’t because I chose to fight myself, but because others chose to fight against goodness.

But what is “good,” really? Is it quantifiable? Aren’t we all striving for it?

Surprisingly, “good” is as elusive as a leopard sighting—rare, if not almost mythical. In my eyes, “good” means serving others, fostering growth, providing opportunity, safety, health, love, and life.

Regrettably, serving others seems to have been omitted from most people’s life philosophies. Witnessing society’s failings, this stands out as our species’ greatest downfall. We’ve evolved into self-serving monsters, chasing after wealth and power that currency itself deems worthless. Politicians play corporate games, and we all become slaves to a system we refuse to resist. At times, I’ve fantasized about a judgment day akin to a Terminator movie—a unification under the banner of survival. Yet, the reality is we’re already amidst this apocalypse, and not a soul has flinched.

So why continue to write? If negativity is all I possess, what’s the point? Hold on a second. Remember I mentioned leopard sightings? They might be rare, but they’re not entirely mythical. And since rare is more than nothing, there remains hope. Or so I choose to believe.

I won’t fade quietly into the night. Despite enduring abuse from those I hold dear, I’ll continue fighting for them. I’ll stand firm, showcasing a better option. When they transform into self-aware and compassionate warriors, I’ll have made this world proud. My aim isn’t to change the world anymore—just to change those I reach. If my example embodies truth, love, service, and goodness, I’ll have succeeded. I’m prepared to evaluate, improve, and compete against no one but myself. If I make a bad decision, call me out. If I make a positive change, let it inspire you.

If I’m to be a warrior of goodness, I must uphold standards worthy of such a journey. I refuse to shy away from truth and will take ownership of my choices. Should our paths cross and your choices fall short of goodness, I’ll boldly share my experiences. My mission is to eradicate a worthless existence and instil worthiness wherever I can. Our value lies within our hands. No amount of wealth, titles, or self-glorification will ever satisfy the burning desire to do better for our loved ones.

Imagine the world, where we could all become a leopard sighting. A judgment day of sorts, but the apocalypse this world needs.

Amor Fati

Spinning webs online, dodging snakes offline – just another day as the bushveld’s techie philosopher!